"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
Galatians 5:22
Up until fairly recently, a good adjective to describe me would be timid. I have always been a fearful person. When I was a kid, I had nightmares pretty often. It seemed like I was always being attacked by a giant spider, a hungry shark or King Kong. Yep, my childhood reoccurring dream was about King Kong. He would look in my house, with his giant eyeball taking up the whole window. I always woke up right at the part where I was yelling at my parents to move away from the window as he was about to reach in and grab them. I remember a one time waking up to my dad who was trying to rouse me from a nightmare - apparently I was screaming in my sleep. As I got older, I became fearful of being abducted, tortured or getting in some horrific car crash. Then I got married and had kids and started to worry about what would happen to these people whom I loved fiercely. All of this worry was building up and quite honestly, it was very exhausting; especially because all of my worries had one thing in common: my lack of control on my environment or outcomes.
I think most moms worry. We have birthed these tiny humans and unfortunately, they don't come with instructions or bubble wrap. So, we worry about small things like sleep habits, breastfeeding verses bottle feeding, daycare or nannies, separation anxiety, and so on. Then we worry about big things like if our children will grow to love Jesus, if they will be bullied, will they go to a good college, will they be happy, etc. And then we have those fleeting moments where we worry about heart-wrenching things like if our child will be kidnapped or harmed or taken away from us too early in life. All of this worry builds up and we begin to live timid lives. Last summer, the Lord laid on my heart to let go of this timidity and start living a bolder life. My mantra verse became 2 Timothy 1:7 which says, "God did not give me a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." The reason we worry is because none of us can control our environment, we can only control how we adapt to it and the best way to do that is to lean on the Lord.
Jesus talked about worry because worry has always been an issue. He tells us that worry is counterproductive because the Lord will always take care of us - we are valuable to him (Matthew 6:25-34). This doesn't mean that we won't face trials - because we will - and it doesn't mean that the Lord will always answer our prayers the way we want - because he won't - but it does mean that the Lord is always with us and will give us the strength, comfort and support that we need in those moments. Isaiah 41:10 says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand." We don't have to do life alone. The Lord wants to come along side us and help carry our burdens and worries. He wants to share his peace in every aspect of our lives, including our children and their future.
So, we know that we need peace in our hearts but we also need peace in our actions. Matthew 5:9 says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons ('and daughters' if I may add-lib here) of God." Being a peacemaker might not be as difficult as having peace in your heart, but it certainly isn't always easy either. One way that we can be peacemakers to is refrain from gossip, which I have found can be an easy entrapment for moms who crave to know what's going on outside of PBS. I am ashamed to admit that this is something I struggle with as well. The Bible tells us that gossip betrays confidence (Proverbs 11:13), separates friends (Proverbs 16:28), and fuels conflict (Proverbs 26:20). I have found that this problem seems to be especially prevalent in the church where gossip spreads like wildfire due to "prayer requests." I put that in quotes because I have heard, and have also been a victim of, people spreading gossip but disguising it as a prayer request.
When I was in high school, I got into a car accident. Everyone was fine, but I was deeply embarrassed, especially because I thought people would judge me as a bad driver because I was a newer driver. My mom (with my consent) shared this with her small group to pray for me but asked the ladies to keep it within the group because of my embarrassment. However this information leaked due to phrases like, "Oh, did you hear about Pam? She was in a car accident. I guess she is really nervous about driving again. Can you pray for her?" The next thing I knew, the whole church knew and I had many people coming up to me to talk about my accident. Whoever shared that "prayer request" betrayed my mom's confidence, which made her not trust her small group and it also fueled anger within me. Do not use a "prayer request" as a sneaky way to spread gossip. Be loyal and trustworthy. Keep your word and your friend's confidence. You may think you are helping, but it is best to ask your friend first if you may share their stories. Don't make that judgement for yourself. James 3:17-18 says, "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial, and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness." Let's use this as our guide as we try to be peacemakers. Seek the wisdom from heaven so that we can reap our harvest.
This week's parent goals:
1. Let Go of Worry.
Okay, this is less of a weekly goal and more of a life-time goal. This is a really hard one for me. I have worried for so long that it is a hard habit to break and since having kids, I worry even more about them. We know that the Lord doesn't want us "borrowing trouble from tomorrow" (Matthew 6:34) and he wants us to experience His peace. John 14:27 says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." When we find ourselves worrying, we need to train ourselves to stop and give that worry over to the Lord. We need to trust that His way is the best way and that He can turn everything into good. Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present all your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." When I find myself worrying (which is many times during the day) I try to stop and thank the Lord for what I have in that very moment and tell Him about whatever I am worrying about. He already knows what is troubling me, I might as well chat about it with Him. Often I find that my worries are alleviated even if it is just a little bit.
2. Be a Peacemaker
Remember that our little ones are watching our every move to see how we handle situations. It is important that they see Christ's reflection in our relationships. We need to make sure that we are helping to resolve conflicts instead of building them up. We are all going to fail at this; we are human, but those can also be great teaching times to show our kids how we right our wrongs. How wonderful for our children to see their parents say "I'm sorry," or to stand up for someone who's name is being slandered. Proverbs 15:26 says, "The Lord detests the thoughts of the wicked, but gracious words are pure in his sight."
This week's application for kids:
1. Blessing your kiddos.
Mary Ruth Swope wrote a book called The Power of Blessing Your Children. The book contains many blessings that you can read to your children. In her forward she writes about the power of blessing our children and that this power helps us to live successful lives for the Lord. She writes "We cannot allow Satan to rob us of this wonderful privilege." Use this blessing Swope wrote about peace on your kids this week.
In the name of Jesus Christ:
I bless you with peace--another gift from God that comes to those who walk in His statutes and remember to do His commandments. Your children, too, will be taught about the Lord, and great will be their peace.
You will not be afraid but instead will have perfect peace if you keep your mind on Him. Jesus Christ is your peace. And the peace of God will keep your heart and mind in health as long as you trust and serve your God.
2. Try an activity that explains peace to your kids.
As an educator, I LOVE children's literature. The Pout-Pout Fish in the Big-Big Dark by Deborah Diesen is a great book to read with your kids to address our first topic, worry. In the book, Mr. Fish agrees to help a friend, but has to go to the deep, dark ocean to complete the goal. He is afraid of the dark but with the help of friends, he realizes that friendship is bigger than the dark. Read this story to your kids and talk about things that they are worried about. Remind them that God is bigger than those things and then pray with your kids about their worries.
A great example of being a peacemaker is in the book Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes. In the book, Lilly has a purple plastic purse that she got from her grandmother, along with new movie star sunglasses and three shiny quarters. She wants to show everyone in her class her treasures but she chooses to do so at the wrong time. Her teacher takes away her things and she draws a mean picture of him, which he finds. When he returns her things with a note saying that tomorrow is a new day, Lilly feels terrible and apologizes to her teacher. Read this story with your kids and talk about how we all do things that aren't nice but the importance of making things right and a good way to start is by apologizing. Model what an apology should look like. Start with addressing the wrong and then explaining how he/she can use a different strategy in the future. Then ask for forgiveness. Write down the following prompts and display them somewhere in your house as a reminder of what a sincere apology looks like. Be sure to use this too so that your kids can see that you mean what you say and that these rules aren't just for kids, but for adults too.
I am sorry for ...
Next time I'll ...
Will you forgive me?
An idea I found on Pinterest is a graphic organizer that shows what a peacemaker looks like in a classroom setting, but this would be a great activity for families too. Write down or have your kids write down examples on how you and your family can be peacemakers in your home and out in public. Prompt the kids with ideas but be sure that they are giving a majority of the responses so that they can take ownership in this activity instead of listening to a list of rules that mom is making. It will help them to remember and then execute their words.
3. Weekly Scripture Challenge.
Try to memorize this verse this week as a reminder of our focus for the week. Encourage your children to do so too!
"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace."
Psalm 29:11
Be sure to share your experiences with this topic. What did you learn about yourself/your kids/the Lord? What activities did you do with your kids to teach them about peace? I would love to hear them!