"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
Galatians 5:22
Let me start this post by saying that I feel completely inadequate to write a blog on patience considering I am totally lacking in this attribute. For all of my previous blogs I made outlines based on what I thought the Lord wanted me to say but when I sat down to study patience this week, nothing came to me. I impatiently just decided to "wing it" but I still had writer's block in the worst way so I had to get up and walk away from this post. I sat outside on the patio while the kids were napping and prayed that the Lord would speak to me for the direction of this post - and I needed it in the near future so I could post this on Monday. I heard a small whisper that said, "God's timing is perfect." I wasn't sure if that was what I should write about or if that was a message for me in relation to my nagging . . . so I continued to nag God. Then I felt like God was teasing me and said something about how I am being impatient for the sake of patience. He was right, per usual.
I am an A-type personality which means that I am impatient by nature. Every act of waiting means that time is being used inefficiently. Waiting at the grocery store? Must mean that the store isn't making good use of it's employees. Stopped at a red light? Those thirty seconds could have gotten you that much closer to your destination. When a serviceman says he will be at your house within a six hour window - oh man, don't even get me started on that one. If I can even get a little personal here, sometimes I get impatient just going to the bathroom because I feel like my body should take care of these waste issues more quickly! The thing is that type-A people get restless when we have to wait because we want to use our time wisely. That restlessness is exactly what we need to shed. Our theme verse says that one of the fruits of the Spirit is patience which means the Holy Spirit doesn't get restless or agitated or annoyed because God's timing is perfect.
When I was in college, I prayed for patience daily. I wanted to be more patient with my roommates. I wanted to be more patient with my family. I wanted to be more patient with my future. I asked God everyday for this patience but patience isn't a burger you order through the fast food drive-thru. Patience is a virtue that is acquired through practice. So instead of "granting" us patience, like a genie in a bottle, the Lord gives us opportunity to practice it. The Bible tells us that patience is one of the attributes of love (1 Corinthians 13:4) and that is better than pride (Ecclesiastes 7:8), but it also tells us that we need to practice this patience even in times of trouble (Psalm 40:1, Romans 12:12) and that it is not just to be used with those who are easy to love but even with those who drive you nuts - which sometimes is that little person who calls you "Mommy" (Ephesians 4:2).
As parents, we have LOTS of opportunities to practice patience. 1 Thessalonians 5:14 says, "And we urge you brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, and be patient with everyone." Is it me or does it seem like Paul wrote that to everyone in Thessalonica who had a toddler? I loved the "idle and disruptive" part especially because you know when it is quiet, your kids are destroying something. And do our kids not get "disheartened" when they can't eat Goldfish crackers by the pound? Yet, Paul tells these parents of toddlers people that they (and us) are to still be patient with everyone.
This week's parent goals:
1. Look for ways to cheerfully practice patience.
In my post about love, I mentioned that one of the best pieces of advice I got from a friend at MOPS was to look for God in the mess. So when Zachary is having a temper tantrum, I need to try to find something I can thank the Lord for in that situation. Sometimes I am so frustrated, all I can think of is that Zachary is alive and standing in front of me - and that's okay! When we practice gratitude, it squeezes out some of the impatience for that situation. The next time I am at a stoplight with my kids screaming in the back seat, I am going to try to stop and thank the Lord that I have these beautiful children and that their lungs work properly, or that I have a reliable car to get me from point A to point B, or that soon we will be seeing Aunt Laura, or Meme, or Oma and they will give me a break!
I used to do yoga (honest moment here, I say 'used to' because I have no time for it anymore since I am unwilling to wake up early to work out and at night all I want to do is watch something in the DVR cue) and what I loved about yoga was how the instructors always talked about how yoga is a practice. Everyone, even that guy in the front of the class who has his body twisted like an upside-down pretzel, is always working towards getting better. Patience is the same way. Remember it is a practice.
2. Learn the "Have Patience" song.
I realize this seems like a weird thing to work on as parents, but this song is really helpful. I only have the chorus memorized because it was something that my grandma used to sing to my sister and I all the time when we were waiting for something. I do sing it to Zachary sometimes, but I also use it for myself because I seem to need to practice patience a lot. Recently, Sadie had minor surgery and we went back to the hospital for a follow up appointment. The nurse who set up the appointment told me that they wanted Sadie there fifteen minutes early, so for her 8:30 appointment, we were there at 8:15 am. We didn't get called back to the room until 8:50. The doctor didn't come in to see us until 9:20. He looked at her scar for 5 seconds, said it looked good and left. Meanwhile, Sadie had been crying for the past 20 minutes and my husband was trying to keep our two year old busy in the waiting room. While I danced around that little room, I sang this song -out loud- for myself to calm down because I was so annoyed at the lack of respect for our time. I was crazy impatient. It did help, a little. Here are the words to the chorus:
Have patience, have patience
Don't be in such a hurry
When you get impatient, you only start to worry
Remember, remember that God is patient, too
And think of all the times when others have to wait for you
3. Stop and Pray.
I think it is also a good idea tell your kids how you are feeling and pray together. I was reading one of Zachary's favorite books for the fifteenth time and Sadie was rolling around on the floor, annoyed with something and I felt like I was going to have a meltdown. It's not like anything happened out of the ordinary that morning but I just had very little patience and desperately wanted to have a small amount of personal space and maybe a cup of coffee. I closed Zachary's book and told him that Mama was feeling impatient and grumpy and that I needed to talk to Jesus about it. I asked him if he would pray with me. He said yes, closed his little eyes and listened as I asked the Lord to calm my heart. Then I continued reading to Zachary while pacifying Sadie with Sophie the Giraffe. I did start to feel better and I modeled for Zachary what we can do when our feelings get out of control. I think it is important to show our kids that as parents we need help too. By stopping the activity and praying about your situation, you kids can see that you rely on the Lord as well.
This week's application for kids:
1. Blessing your kiddos.
In my previous posts I have used blessings written by Mary Ruth Swope in her book, The Power of Blessing Your Children. She says in her book, "One thing should be clear: we have the ability to influence both our personal lives and the future of our nation through the powerful act of speaking blessings. It is a foundation stone for successful family and community living." Of the many blessings she has listed in her book, there is not one on patience, but there is a section where the reader can write his/her own blessings, so I wrote my own blessing this week on patience.
In the name of Jesus Christ:
I bless you with the ability to cheerfully practice patience.
May you exhibit a quiet and steady perseverance through your life while you wait on your family, your friends and even those you don't know. May you live without restlessness as you wait on the Lord and his plans for your life.
I bless you with the ability to be patient in times of trouble and look to the Lord for guidance always.
2. Try an activity that explains patience to your kids.
Something that Zachary likes to "help" me with is baking cookies, probably because he believes baking is eating all the chocolate chips. Baking something sweet with your kiddos is a great way to explain patience, plus you get to eat something yummy afterwards. Measure out all the ingredients that you need and let your kids pour them into the mixing bowl. Talk about how the batter (while still delicious) is a goopy mess and in order to the cookies to come out the way they should, they need to be baked and then they need to cool, which takes time. Sometimes it is really hard to wait, but if the batter gets pulled out of the oven too soon, the treat falls apart. By practicing patience, we can eat our delicious cookies without making a big mess or burning our mouths. This is true with other things too. List off situations where your kids need to practice patience: watching a sibling's soccer game or dance recital, waiting for Dad to come home to eat dinner, wanting to play outside but it is raining, etc.
3. Weekly Scripture Challenge.
Try to memorize this verse this week as a reminder of our focus for the week. Encourage your children to do so too!
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient bearing with one another in love."
Ephesians 4:2
Be sure to share your experiences with this topic. What did you learn about yourself/your kids/the Lord? What activities did you do with your kids to teach them about patience? I would love to hear them!